Time for pause

More of bad trading. I'm angry at myself because I did fall out of rhythm that I had. Now all my attention is on p&l. Don't want to close trades when they are no good, so I start averaging moving stops and just plain trading bad.

Maybe I really shouldn't trade at all when I feel confused like now and without clear goal. I start trading because of fear of missing out but I'm not in shape for it. Psychologically I feel different then rest of this month and this pushing myself in is just making things worse. Then I have a thought well when will I get mentally focused, what if it's never? I can't give those answers but I can objectively say that my mind isn't now in adequate state for quality trading.
Then I'm angry because things are like that. Like how could I be so focused and trading good before? What has changed?
One bad day last week, but not bad because it was day with loss but because I pushed so hard to make it profitable even if I was wrong. It changed me the same way as I get changed in bad day when I lose control. Now I'm just not suitable for trading until I get suitable. Before I would just come and trade more and lose like in a period before current positive run. One day I would just get awaken from that bad dream and start doing good things and change cycle to positive. Maybe I should just wait it out.

Today plenty of risk mainly to get me above break even. Totally unnecessary and risky. Am I happy now when I'm positive for the day? NO.

+8 pips